Take The Boy Out Of Linux,…

So, yesterday, I bought a 15″ MacBook Pro. It’s gorgeous. I’m switching from Linux Mint, Helena.

To give you an indication of how deeply ingrained Ubuntu has become in my mind, this is the first thing that I issued in my new term:

Last login: Wed Dec 16 10:09:38 on console

Dheeraj-Chands-MacBook-Pro:~ dheerajchand$ sudo apt-get install electricsheep

Password:
sudo: apt-get: command not found
Dheeraj-Chands-MacBook-Pro:~ dheerajchand$

Wow, this is going to take some adjustment.  Just thought you’d be amused.

-dx

Using PHP to Explain The Kinds of Republican

Imagine that you’ve found a Republican. You know what they’re called, but you don’t know what that the definition of that kind of Republican is.  Here’s a PHP script to help you decipher it. Enjoy!

-dx

 

<?php

function gop_type_determine($observed_case) {

$definition = “Let’s face it: this person is a Republican, and therefore an asshole. “;

switch ($observed_case) {

case “fundagelical”:

$definition .= ” This is a member of the Taleban, RSS/BJP, etc.who speaks English instead of Pashtu or Hindi and imputes mystical powers to Jesus instead of Mohammed. You can recognise this one because he selectively chooses verses from the Old Testament/Torah that explain the bigotries that his lizard brain produce. This Republican aspires to nothing higher than being able to tell Jesus that his daughter got a Home Ec degree from Liberty University when he’s raptured. The only thing that would please him more would be if every non-white person were to somehow die at once.”;

break ;

case “wingnut_catholic” :

$definition .= ” This is a particularly screwy case, as unlike most other Republicans, the Wingnut Catholic has most likely read at least one book not sold at Walmart. Similar to the fundagelical, this Republican is terrified that somewhere, someone may be gay, and that this gay person is going about life enjoying himself at least as much as any other heterosexual person is. The thought of a gay person being happy is anathema to the wingnut Catholic. The thought of a gay person who isn’t shrouded in years of psychic pain brings them psychic pain. To get to their goal of oppressing gays (and women,too, because they remind them of gays.) and make it sound like something other than the bigotry that it is, the Wingnut Catholic will usually invoke the history of anti-Catholicism in this country as proof that his bigotry should be socially acceptable. He will argue that because of bigotry against Catholics, they should be allowed to be bigoted against gays and women (See, ‘Donohue, Bill’). Failing that, they will pull out the big gun: Aristotelian Natural Law. This will sound confusing and persuasive, and you’ll frequently hear terms like ‘objectively disordered’. There will also be references to ‘three-legged squirrels’. This may sound persuasive till you remember that 1) From Aristotle’s own mouth, we have it that all of this is dependent on his biology. Aristotle’s biology has been empirically demonstrated to not work. 2) This is doctrine of the Catholic Church, and not by any means a philosophical consensus. 3) Therefore, you have to willingly buy into their flawed theory that is doctrine for their religion to be persuaded of it.”;

break ;

case “corporatist” :

$definition .= ” This is the classic case of the Republican. This person is the sort of person who believes that our democracy is imperfect, not because of millions of Americans who are shut out of voting, a legacy of federalism being used to oppress people, the hundreds of thousands who live in third world conditions, etc. No, this person’s steely heart and resolve are only broken by the tragedy that ExxonMobil and Comcast are unable to govern freely, as these vicious proles keep using their government to pass laws. To the Corporatist, governments are only legitimate so long as they wage war on behalf of corporate interests. Anything that they do to protect citizens is Communism.”;

break ;

case “teabagger” :

$definition .= ” This is a new name for a classic Republican. In his most current incarnation as a Teabagger, this Republican genuinely believes that the greatest threat to America is the horde of homosexual illegal immigrants from Mexico crossing our borders to unplug our braindead ladies and adopt their children, and they know because Fox told them so. Moreover, these Mexicans will form a fifth column for our Kenyan born so-called President. The Teabagger also worries about spending if and only if it is not going to white people or corporations, and is completely incapable of recognising that every spending problem we have to day is because of Reagan and Bush.”;

break ;

case “laffer_tard” :

$definition .= ” This one is very similar to the Corporatist, but with a twist. The Laffer Tard believes in what you could call trickle down economics. What that means is that if you cut tax rates and give the rich welfare, as they walk up the hills to their mansions, some money may fall out of their pockets and trickle down the hills to where the poor live.” ;

break;

}

return $definition;

}

?>

<html>

<body style=”padding: 2em; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif”>

<?

if ($_REQUEST[“republican_type”] != “”) {

echo (“<p style=’padding-bottom: 2em’>”.gop_type_determine($_REQUEST[“republican_type”]).”</p>”);

}

?>

<form>

<select onchange=”this.form.submit()” name=”republican_type”>

<option value=”-1″>which type of republican?</option>

<option value=”laffer_tard”>laffer tard</option>

<option value=”teabagger”>teabagger</option>

<option value=”corporatist”>corporatist</option>

<option value=”wingnut_catholic”>wingnut_catholic</option>

<option value=”fundagelical”>fundagelical</option>

</select>

</form>

</body>

</html>

</html>

London Broil Braised in Garam Masala and Ginger Adobo Sauce

The Safeway over by my place has fantastic sales on roasts, London Broils, etc., so I’m always playing around.   Here’s a recipe for one that I came up with not too long ago, and it really pleased me.  The recipe came about by accident, as I had defrosted a roast, forgotten about it and found myself in a position in which I had to cook it that night. The whole thing took me less than three and a half hours, and most of that was spent watching a baseball game while the thing cooked in the oven.

I adapted some of this from a bouef bourguignonne recipe, some from what Lisa tells me about Hawaiian Adobo and some from my own inspiration. I would love to see some feedback on this recipe.

Once again, I didn’t take any pictures. Sue me.

Ingredients

1 2-4 lbs London  Broil

2 serrano chillies

5 medium yellow onions

5 Tbsp minced garlic

5 Tbsp minced ginger

1 cup white wine vinegar

1 cup lemon juice

1 cup soy sauce

2 tsp brown sugar

4 potatoes, peeled and chopped

6 rashers of bacon

1 cup finely chopped coriander

4 Tbsp garam masala

Salt and Pepper to taste

Preparation

The first thing to do is boil the bacon a bit to get rid of the excess salt. So, take a large Dutch oven and fill it with water, bring to boil, and then stick your bacon strips in for about four minutes.  While this is going, dice one onion and your chillies as finely as you can, and slowly sautee in 1 tsp vegetable oil. When that’s done, drain the water and carefully pat down your bacon strips.  Cut the bacon into small strips, probably the size of a normal lardon, and add to the onions and chillies.  Let this go for a bit, till the lardons start to stiffen up a bit.

At this point, add the vinegar and the soy, and keep cooking on medium heat, stirring occasionally. While this is happening, finely dice two more onions and add them in.

Set your oven to preheat to 325.

Searing Your London Broil

I know lots of people who are of differnet minds on how to do this. In summer, I’d prefer a grill.  This time of year, though, I just did it in a frying pan with a bit of vegetable oil and salt and pepper.  Sear it as you would any other meat that you’re going to stick in the oven, and set aside.

Back to The Adobo

You should be getting quite a pungent smell by now, and it’s only going to get stronger.  Mix in the garam masala, ginger and garlic. You want this to form a somewhat thick paste for now. (Don’t worry, you’re going to add water into the mix later.) Keep cooking. If it looks like the paste is getting too think for your comfort, add just enough of the lemon juice to dilute it, but hold off on adding all of it for now.

Once you get a good paste, mix in the brown sugar, coriander and the lemon juice.  Put in the chopped potatoes, and add your beef to the Dutch Oven.  If you’re like me, your Dutch oven isn’t big enough to handle a gigantic London Broil, and you’ll have to cut it into pieces to get it in there. That’s fine – don’t sweat it.

After you’ve tossed in the beef, add the final two onions, finely diced. Now, for the final step, add enough water to make sure that the beef is well covered, and stick it in the oven.

Checking On It

Normally, roasts like this will take hours to cook, but this modified Adobo will tear that beef to shreds. It’s probably good to go after two hours in the oven, but I let mine go to three because I love how soft it can get.

Serving

The Houston in me compels me to eat slow cooked meats with tortillas, at the very least, but I’d imagine that this would go well with a strong bread, maybe a sourdough.

Suggested Modifications

I think that this has the potential to turn out very sour, depending on your taste, so you may want to add more sugar to take some of the edge off.

You may also want to add more chillies. I like serranos, but that’s just me.

 

 

 

 


 


 

 

 

Sage Marinated Cornish Game Hens With Sausage, Rice and Mushroom Stuffing

I made this for Lisa not too long ago, but forgot to take pictures. I hope you guys still enjoy messing around with this recipe, though.

 

Sage Marinated Cornish Game Hens with Sausage, Mushroom and Rice Stuffing

Ingredients

Birds

2 Cornish game hens, normal size
1/2 bottle Italian medium-dry white wine (Pinot Grigio works well)
1 cup lemon juice
1 cup olive oil
Large amounts of sage, rosemary, basil and oregano (I use dried, but I’d imagine that fresh is way better)
Mixed colour peppercorns
Sea Salt (optional)

Stuffing

1 cups rice
1/2 bottle Italian medium-dry white wine (Pinot Grigio works well)
1 cup lemon juice
Large amounts of sage, rosemary, basil and oregano (I use dried, but I’d imagine that fresh is way better)
Mixed colour peppercorns
1/2 package sage country style sausage
1 pound sliced mushrooms
1 finely diced onion
3 tbs minced garlic (Feel free to use fresh instead – I’m just lazy)
Large amounts of sage, rosemary, basil and oregano (I use dried, but I’d imagine that fresh is way better)
2 Bay leaves
2 tbs butter

Preparing the birds

In a large bowl, mix olive oil, lemon juice and white wine together. Be sure to mix well, as they will tend to separate. Now, I use a hell of a lot of sage here, easily three or four tbs., but I’m using the dried stuff. If you’re using fresh, I don’t know how that translates. Part of the reason that you want to use so much sage is that it has a very subtle flavour, and you really want it to get into the skin of the hen. The olive oil makes the skin wonderfully rich and crunchy, and adding sage to that works out really well. The other herbs are there just as helpers. So, if you consider the rest to be generic Italian herbs, the ratio of sage to Italian herbs should be 3:1 or 4:1.   Grind in the mixed colour peppercorns to taste. You can also use some sea salt here, if you’d like, but I don’t cook with much salt for health reasons.

You now have your marinade. The longer you can leave your hens in here, the better. I’ve done up to twenty four hours before. Unfortunately, you can’t really score the meat, as it ruins the appearance of the hens when you serve them, so you have to rely on good old fashioned osmosis to get the job done.  If you’re in a rush, though, I’ve done it with as few as two hours, and I’d imagine that you could really get away with it one.

Anyway,  put these in the fridge for now.

Preparing the Stuffing

You’re going to have more stuffing than can fit inside the hens. This is fine. You can cook it outside the hens, as well, in the same baking tray and have dressing.

Set your rice to cooking in wine and lemon juice. Do this on low heat. Add in sage and Italian herbs as before, 3:1 or 4:1, but in smaller amounts. No more than 2 tbs sage – that’s a good guideline. When the wine and lemon juice start to bubble, add in the butter.  Cook till the rice is firm – you should still have some wine and lemon juice in there. This is fine.

While this is cooking, open up your package of country style sausage. This should be loose sausage without casing. If you have a casing, cut it out and cook the sausage loosely on medium heat. You want it to start browning and releasing its oils, but not to get completely cooked. Once it starts browning, add in the onion and keep cooking. Once the onions soften, add in the garlic. Now, you want to keep an eye on this and use your judgement a bit. At the end of all of this, you want the sausage to be about 85% done. Look at what you’re cooking and decide when you can throw in the mushrooms to get them well cooked and softened without going over that 85% cooked sausage point. Once you’ve reached that point, throw in the mushrooms, ground peppercorns and herbs.

Now, get another large bowl. Mix the rice, wine and lemon juice and sausage concoction together.

Cooking it all together

Take your hens out of the fridge. Stuff the hens as tightly as you can with them. You should probably be able to get one cup inside each hen, easily. Tie the hens legs together to enclose. Arrange the hens on a baking tray, and take the rest of your somewhat liquid stuffing and arrange all around them. Do not worry about the fact that your stuffing is somewhat liquid. This moisture is critical – it keeps the whole thing from drying out while you cook it and it provides a lot of moisture to the hens in the tray.

Stick the tray in the oven at 400 degrees for forty-five minutes to an hour.  You can tell they’re done when you poke with a fork and the juices run clear.

 

Saal Mubarak!

I love President Obama so much for this. Very few people could discuss Diwali as a means of commonality between Hindus, Sikhs and Jains, much less, cite Sanskrit verse to do so without being cheesy, but God, this man just pulled it off. The fact that he is our President makes me feel like this will be a great year of recovery. -dx