Why Is It Republicans Have No Talent?

I am not one of those people for whom the political message of some artistic object X is enough to ensure that I will enjoy it. I have heard, seen and read enough awful stuff whose political messages I would otherwise find quite reasonable that was just so abominably made and executed that I couldn’t bring myself to do anything with it, and I frequently try to forget it.  This leads me to the question that is probably on everyone’s mind: why is it that Republicans seemingly have no artistic talents?  Oh, sure, I know that they have a blog dedicated to proving that it’s a vast liberal conspiracy to keep Republicans from succeeding in culture, but if you take a stroll over there, you’ll quickly find out that it’s because the very cream of their crop are just hideously untalented – I mean, awful.

Listening to their jokes reminds of looking at conservative Christian bumper stickers from my beloved Texas: you have to be so deep in the know on their culture and in-jokes for any of the references to make sense that they look stupid to anyone else, or, more frequently, there’s absolutely no subtlety or wit to what they’re doing. Case in point:

Does anyone in the world who has more than three teeth find this funny? How about this one? "If you want to get to heaven, turn right and go straight."

Now, beneath the fold, you’ll find some competing examples of Democratic and Republican pop music. I’ve chosen to look at hiphop and rock music, as they’re probably the two easiest forms in which one can express political ideas.  Guess which ones suck.


Republican hiphop:



Democratic hiphop:


Republican rock:


Democratic rock:



Now, you may think that I am stacking this comparison, as Bruce Springsteen and Nas are two of the greatest of all time, and the Republicans that I’ve chosen are relatively obscure.  This is fair, but it’s missing the point, in that this is the rubbish that Republicans actually like.  They get really into it, and it’s what they think is good.  God, it’s as if they lost all sense of taste, too.

Really, I’m opening this one up to people.  Why do Republicans lack talent and taste?